Babysitting Roxas
by Demyx Rules
Summary: Organization XIII must babysit Roxas since his caretaker, Xaldin, is on vacation. Although, Roxas is a lot more dangerous than they thought.
1. Xaldin on Vacation

A/N: Ok, usually when I make a story... it basically follows the storyline or my prediction of the storyline. This, however, is pure genius and imagination. You will amazed... at how funny this gets. Summary: Xemnas must babysit Roxas (I sort of made him a little babyish, no offense)... and the Organization turns out that they need to save poor Xemnas from Roxas. Soon, Roxas invites his friends over and oh boy!! Xemnas has to babysit Roxas because Xaldin was going on vacation. (Oh yeah!! R & R, this is pretty neat stuff!)

---

The silver-haired superior lazily slept on his comfy chair in the conference room, hugging a little nobody plushie. The silence was golden.

"Xemnas."

"WHAT?!"

Xaldin stood at the entrance, staring at Xemnas, annoyed at the tone he used. "I need a really big favor from you, superior."

"Tomorrow!" Xemnas shouted, pointing at the clock that it was 4 AM.

"..." Xaldin held up a sign that said, "I don't care."

"What do you want, Xaldin?" The annoyed Xemnas sternly said.

"I'm going on vacation!" Xaldin shouted.

"No!!" Xemnas jumped out of his comfy chair, grabbed onto Xaldin around his knees, and both of them fell to the floor. "DON'T GO!!"

"Why?" Xaldin asked.

"Because..." Xemnas said, looking up with innocent puppy eyes. "YOU'RE ROXAS'S BABYSITTER!"

"I know." Xaldin said. "That's why I'm taking vacation."

"YOU KNOW I CAN'T STAND THAT KID!!" Xemnas sobbed. "WHY DO YOU THINK I GAVE HIM TO YOU AND XIGBAR TO TAME!?"

"Don't know." Xaldin said, staring down at him. "Can you please let me go now?"

"No, you're taking me with you!!" Xemnas shouted.

"... No, I'm not." Xaldin said. "You are going to take care of Roxas for a month or two."

"A WHOLE MONTH... OR TWO!?" Xemnas screamed. "I AM THE SUPERIOR, AND I COMMAND YOU TO NEVER NEVER NEVER TAKE VACATION!!!" Suddenly, he saw six lances in the background, ready to stabbity-stab him. "I mean... er, HAVE FUN!"

"Thank you...?" Xaldin said, picking up his luggage. "Okay, there are a few things you need to know before I go."

---

"We are up at the crack of dawn..." Axel yawned. "What's your problem, old man?"

"We have to babysit that little terror... Roxas." Xemnas said.

"YAY!!" Axel shouted, standing on the table.

"Can we have a sleepover?" Marluxia asked.

"UGH." Larxene shouted. "SIT DOWN, MARLUXIA!"

"NOOOO!!!" Vexen sobbed.

"Silence." Xemnas firmly said. "Please, I know... what Roxas is like."

"OMG OMG OMG, I'M GONNA WAKE HIM UP AND TELL HIM THE GOOD NEWS!!" Axel shouted.

"NOOOO!!" About six or seven members (including Larxene, Xemnas, Xigbar, Vexen, Zexion, Lexaeus, Saix...) threw themselves on top of Axel, and made it so he was under the pack of guys. "YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THAT!!!!"

"Shh!!" Xemnas said. "We'll wake him!! You don't want to do that."

"... Ok." Axel said.

"Can we have a sleepover?" Marluxia asked.

"SIT DOWN, MARLUXIA!" Larxene shouted.

Vexen started crying, "Xemnas... lock him up in a cage. It's our only hope!"

"Trust me, #4." Xemnas proudly said. "It won't be that bad." Hopefully.

---

The alarm clock rang. 6:00 AM. A hand ferociously smashed the alarm clock. The mess of blonde hair looked angrily up and at his surroundings. Oh yeah, Roxas has awoken. The members guarded outside the door. Roxas didn't bother to make his bed, and he looked at the rubble of the alarm clock that still twitched and made noises, so he took a huge hammer and broke the entire dresser. "Xaldin's paying for that, too." Roxas threw that alarm clock in the 'alarm clock trash' which was more than overfilled.

Vexen gulped and started to scream, but Xemnas covered his mouth. Roxas looked around, shrugged his shoulders, and walked over to the mirror. "Hey there, sexy." Vexen let out a muffled scream. "You're looking awesome today." He vigorously forced hair gel to his hairdo. He fluffed it up and it made it look as he normally did. "There." He never brushed his hair in his life. He doesn't even own a comb. He went to brush his teeth, but all he did was brush with no toothpaste because Xaldin hadn't bought any bubblegum-flavored ones, and if he did, Roxas would be found eating it.

"Is he coming out yet?" Axel whispered anxiously.

"Yes!" Xemnas hissed under his breath. "Just be patient!"

As soon as Roxas exited the room...

"SURPRISE!!!!!" the Organization members shouted, charging toward him.

Roxas stood in horror. When he was 5, the members did this and he went into a seizure. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Roxas let out a girly scream that echoed throughout the castle, and made everybody cover their ears. "WAAAAAHHHH!!!!" Roxas started crying.

"AWWW!!" Axel snuggled Roxas. "It's okay!! We're just playing with you."

"You -- YOU!!" Roxas shouted. "You scared me!!!" He slapped Axel, who fell to the floor, holding his face in admiration.

"You are strong!" Axel drooled.

"..." Roxas stared down at his best friend. "Okay?" He stared at the other eleven, wait, ten members? He immediately pointed this out. He stomped evilly to Xemnas. "WHERE. IS. XALDIN?"

"..." Xemnas looked with fear down at the teenager. "On vacation."

"NO." Roxas said. "He is not on vacation." He punched a fist into the air. "YES!! I'M FREE!!"

"Um..." They were all concerned except for Axel, admiring that bruise on his face.

"SWEET!" Roxas said. "Alright guys... This is great!!"

"CATCH HIM!!" Xemnas ordered, but it was too late. That energetic teenager took off running in the opposite direction, laughing maniacally.

---

"Alright, men." Xemnas said, but pointed to Larxene, "and woman." He took a stick and pointed to his ingenious plan sketched out on the blackboard. "These are the rules that Xaldin told us to follow and it's the rules Roxas follows." Xemnas looked at the other ten members (Note: Roxas wasn't there, obviously and neither was Xaldin), and saw lots of them raise their hands. "Yes. #12?"

"Superior." Larxene said. "Are you sure this will do any good?"

"I'm positive!" Xemnas said. "Roxas will be forced to obey these orders." More members raised their hands. "Yes. #8?"

"Will this hurt Roxas in any way, shape, or form?" Axel asked with an evil death glare.

"It shouldn't..." Xemnas said. "But I've never tested it out, so I'm not sure." More hands raised. "Yes. #11?"

"Can we have a sleepover?" Marluxia asked.

"SHUT UP!!" Larxene slapped him.

"..." Xemnas stared for a moment. "Okay, men. And woman." He pointed to the blackboard. "Let's review the 20 rules that Xaldin has put out for us."

They listened intently.

XALDIN'S 20 RULES HE FOLLOWS TO SURVIVE ROXAS'S WRATH:

1. Never feed him after midnight (I'm serious about this one)

2. Buy him whatever he wants (OR ELSE)

3. Don't touch him, talk to him, or approach him when he's mad

4. Don't ever give him caffeine

5. Don't ever give him sugar

6. And PLEASE don't ever let him get ahold of cheese

7. If he throws a tantrum, he will destroy things. Announce over an intercom when he's angry, so the members can escape before he kills them or something.

8. If he wants a toy but it's overpriced, put together everybody's allowance and JUST BUY IT

9. Feed him three times a day, no more, no matter how much he begs you.

10. Keep him hydrated.

11. Don't let him get locked in battle, because he loves battle, and will go crazy

12. Don't allow him to clean anything

13. The most important rule: DO. NOT. PUT. HIM. NEAR. FANS. (the things that spin around, not people)

14. Don't let him have friends over

15. If he's sick, wait on him hand-and-foot

16. If he's in angst mode, bear with him

17. Put him to bed at 10 PM or earlier.

18. Don't let him watch too much TV.

19. Don't let him near computers. (TRUST ME)

20. If you have anything valuable, hide it.

"Wow, that's a lot of rules for a small guy." Axel said.

"I will follow them proudly, superior." Vexen saluted, and began to cry again.

"Okay." Xemnas said. "Now, men. And woman. MARCH!!!!"

Xemnas - Freaked out superior trying to handle crazy kid

Xigbar - Cool pirate, surfer-dude, ninja that likes to shoot Roxas

Xaldin - Babysitter on vacation

Vexen - Crybaby scientist

Lexaeus - Clueless wrestler that can't handle crazy kid

Zexion - Death seeker (muahaha)

Saix - Blue elf

Axel - Roxas's best friend

Demyx - PARTY!!!!

Luxord - Drunk gambler

Marluxia - Flower obsessed

Larxene - The only mature one

Roxas - Crazy kid who's going to be babysat by ten crazy members (Axel is on his side, muahaha)

---

A/N: I LOVE THIS STORY I'M MAKING!!!! Okay, these are a few things I've decided to do to the members... but I like them! R & R. I update quite frequently.

Preview for Next Chapter:

"Rule #18: Don't let him watch too much TV" and "Rule #1: Don't Feed Him After Midnight" 


	2. The Mere Shadow of Roxas

Xemnas was eagerly and anxiously reading over Xaldin's rulebook, trying memorize each of the twenty rules (which he successfully did). He summoned Vexen and Lexaeus, knowing that they were older than him, and probably had a little more experience with kids than all the other members. When they arrived, Lexaeus was too busy concentrating on his muscles and Vexen was crying. "Men, I'm glad you're here!" Xemnas said. "I was reading over the rulebook and I --" There was complete silence except for crying. "Vexen, why are you crying?" 

"Because there's nothing else to do."

"... Okay." Xemnas said. "Just keep it down a little bit." Vexen nodded, and tried to resist crying loudly. "Now, anyway... I was reading over the rulebook and in erased writing, it says that Xaldin has a journal in his room, which is empty." Xemnas grinned evilly. "Our goal is to get that journal, because it might have a few important rules to keeping Roxas under control!"

"Like sedatives?" Lexaeus asked.

"What if he has rabies?" Vexen started crying louder at his own thought.

"Vexen, search Xaldin's room." Xemnas ordered. "Lexaeus, follow me."

Vexen ran off. Lexaeus followed Xemnas, who was crawling silently on the floor. "What are we doing?" Lexaeus asked after complete silence.

"We're acting like total drunk idiots with nothing to do until Vexen arrives." Xemnas said. "OF COURSE WE'RE CRAWLING TOWARD THE AIR CONDITIONING UNIT, DOOFUS!"

"Why?" Lexaeus asked.

"... Because we're going to sneak up on Roxas." he said.

Bad idea.

"Are you sure?" Lexaeus asked. "Because I think I saw Xaldin crawling up an air conditioning unit --"

"I'M SURE." Xemnas shouted.

"Suit yourself." Lexaeus said.

---

Meanwhile, Vexen was about to enter Xaldin's room. He reached for the door handle, but suddenly stopped. "Oh no, you don't." He grinned. He summoned his ice shield, and destroyed the electricity box. "That trick won't work on me, Xaldin. And if you were clever enough to put up a back-up source, you'd be able to cage Roxas..." He opened the door, walked inside, but suddenly stopped again. He knocked his shield against the wall, which turned on lasers. He threw an ice cube, and instantly, it was vaporized. "So that's how you want to play." Vexen narrowed his eyes.

"Hey, Vexen!" Vexen turned around to see Roxas, and he screamed. "Watcha doing?" Roxas was eating sea salt ice cream. Oh yeah, wasn't one of the rules not to feed Roxas more than three times a day? It was afternoon and he had eaten two meals, breakfast and a snack.

"AH!" Vexen snatched away the ice cream. "No lunch for you!"

"But I'm hungry, man." Roxas said. "I'm growing still."

"That's because I did some creepy experiments on you, I know." Vexen said.

"What the heck, old man." Roxas said, and pressed a button that switched off the lasers, closed the traps, and unlocked the closets. "There."

"Why are you doing this?" Vexen asked.

"Because I know how fun it is to read Xaldin's journal." Roxas said. "Enjoy!" He walked away, and Vexen looked in his hands to see that the ice cream was gone. "Do not give Roxas lunch." Vexen announced over the intercom.

Vexen snuck into the room and searched through the closet, throwing clothes, playboy magazines, pies, and, wait... pies? He finally came across a journal that was dark blue and purple, decorated in tornados and whirlwinds. "Ah..." Vexen opened the journal, and read out loud, "Dear journal..." he sight read silently, trying to find something helpful.

---

"This isn't such a good idea, Xemnas." Lexaeus warned.

"Yes it is!" Xemnas insisted, as he was lodged in the air conditioning unit.

"I'll be out here." Lexaeus said. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

"Fine." Xemnas said, crawling higher and higher. He came to a wide, open area. _Whoa_, he thought, _air conditioning units aren't supposed to be THIS big_. He was able to stand up! He walked around, and finally came back to a tight space. He inched forward and then stopped dead to see Roxas with an ice cream in his mouth, glaring evilly at Xemnas. "Holy --"

"Xeeemmmnnnaaaaass." Roxas said.

"AAAAHHH!!" Xemnas said, noticing that he had broken not one, but two rules. Rule #5, never give him sugar. Rule #9, give him three healthy meals a day, no more, and this ice cream had counted two, so he had to skip Roxas's lunch. "NOOO!!" Xemnas screamed, backing up forcefully, and taking off running with a sugar-high Roxas catching up fast. "LEEEEXXXAAAEEEUUSSS!!" Xemnas cried, as he dove out of the air conditioning unit, and Lexaeus slammed it close.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." Lexaeus repeated.

"I'M SORRY!!" Xemnas sobbed like Vexen.

"Hey, Xemnass!" Vexen called out.

"Xem - what?" Xemnas asked.

"I MEAN..." Vexen covered his mouth and the journal plopped on the floor. Xemnas and Lexaeus dove to get it.

"You found the journal?" Xemnas asked, flipping through the pages.

"Yeah." Vexen answered, and his eyes got wide. "Tomorrow's a full moon... and that's when Roxas is most lively. We're seeing a mere shadow of what he will be."

"You mean to say..." Lexaeus said.

"OH NO!!" Xemnas screamed, banging his head on the journal. "CURSE YOU, XALDIN FOR TAKING VACATION ON A FULL MOON PERIOD!!"

"Dude, calm down..." Lexaeus said. "I think I know what to -- Wait, where's Roxas?"

"Crap!" Xemnas screamed.

---

It was Xemnas, Vexen, and Lexaeus who had snuck into the game room, watching Roxas who was on the couch, repeatedly pressing a button as he played a game, "DIE! DIE! DIE!" he shouted. Xemnas, Vexen, and Lexaeus looked at each other. "Alright, this will be one long day." Xemnas whispered. "Just whatever you do, keep calm, got it?"

"Yes, superior." Vexen and Lexaeus said.

"DIE!!!!" Roxas screamed, throwing the controller thing at the TV, and shattering the glass so suddenly that Vexen started crying.

"Shh!!" Xemnas put a hand over the blonde's mouth.

"He's scary!" Vexen sobbed.

"He is not scary." Xemnas said.

The three men looked at Roxas, who was killing the TV.

"Oh, he is." Lexaeus said.

"Oh, SHOOT." Xemnas said. "Rule #18. Don't let him watch too much TV! Oh no, Xaldin's gonna kill me. He's stimulated now."

"Who's there!?" Roxas shouted, running toward them with a keyblade. "ARGH!! YOU'RE DEAD!!"

"HUH!?" Vexen screamed. "I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

"He's in game mode..." Lexaeus explained. "I've seen this before..."

"What do we do?!" Xemnas asked.

"RUN!!!!" Lexaeus suggested.

The three men ran away from Roxas, who was swinging around the keyblade, and chasing them. "DIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"

---

"LARXENE!!"

The blonde woman turned around to see silver-haired Xemnas, blonde-haired Vexen, and red-haired Lexaeus charging down the hallway. "SAVE US!!!" She watched them approach her, out of breath. "ROXASWASTRYINGTOKILLUSANDHEWASPRETTYDARNCLOSEAAAAHHHWHATDOWEDOTHERE'SNOCOVERANDHE'SCOMINGHERERIGHTNOWWITHAKEYBLADEANDWE'REDOOMEDONCEHEARRIVESCANYOUGETAXELHERESOHESAVESOURBUTTSINSTEADOFUSDYINGAPITIFULDEATHTOTHEKEYBLADEWIELDINGFOOLDUDETHING!?!?!"

"SHUT UP!" Larxene shouted, instantly hushing the three older men. "Lexaeus. Repeat that. Slowly."

"Roxas was trying to kill us and he was pretty darn close, aaaahhh, what do we do? There's no cover and he's coming here right now with a keyblade and we're doomed once he arrives. Can you get Axel here so he saves our butts instead of us dying a pitiful death to the keyblade wielding fool dude thing?!?!?!!" Lexaeus repeated.

"Oh, why didn't you say so?" Larxene laughed, walking off for a second.

Suddenly the castle began vibrating. "RRROOOOOXXXASSSSSS!!!!!" Axel came charging down the hallway, and tackling him to the floor. "I heard you were in game mode! Wanna play with me?"

"Sure!" Roxas said, and they skipped off happily to the game mode.

"... Wow." The three men said.

Vexen began crying.

"WHAT NOW!?" Xemnas screamed at the crying scientist. "THERE IS NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF, ROXAS IS GONE, AXEL IS GONE, EVERYTHING IS OKAY, SO WHAT IS UP!?!"

"It's so beautiful..." Vexen blew his nose on a pink handkerchief. "It just got me..." he put his hand to his chest. "... right here."

"You have no heart." Xemnas and Lexaeus reminded him.

"I know!" Vexen sobbed. "That's why I'm crying!"

---

"Please no full moon!" Xemnas begged, looking up at the moon, and it indeed was full. "Oh no. Starting tonight will begin all of our troubles and insanity."

--

A/N: TA-DA!! Be very afraid.

Coming up in the next chapter...

Rule #1: Never Feed Him After Midnight (especially on a full moon)


	3. Rule 1: Never Feed Him After Midnight

A/N: This chapter will star Xemnas and Xigbar 

---

Xemnas couldn't sleep that night. He was still awake at 7 AM all the way from last night. He was writing the "Xemnas Reports" out of Roxas's nasty behavior that he would fear of. It was the full moon period that lasted a full week. Thankfully it was only ONE week. By the time Xaldin returned, he'd have to deal with Roxas.

"Xemnas." Xigbar said, walking on the ceiling.

"GOOD GRIEF!" Xemnas shouted with an accent, throwing a pen, which landed in the goldfish bowl, and intoxicated the goldfish. "Sorry... I haven't slept."

"Dude." Xigbar said, looking at the upside-down image of his superior. "You look hot today."

"Shut up." Xemnas sighed. "I don't know what I'm gonna do with Roxas."

"I can help." Xigbar offered.

"Really?" Xemnas asked. "Can you shoot him if anything is to happen?"

"Sure thing, dude." Xigbar said, loading his gun with sedatives.

"Thank you!" Xemnas said. "Now what proper teen activity will we do?"

"I know!" Xigbar said. "We'll do what I love best..."

"LAS VEGAS!!" Xigbar exclaimed happily.

"WHAT?" Xemnas shouted.

"Uh, unless you wanna just go to Twilight Town." Xigbar suggested.

"..." Xemnas thought. "No, Vegas is perfect."

"REALLY?" Xigbar asked.

"Yes." Xemnas gulped.

---

Roxas smashed his alarm clock and dresser with a hammer. "Xaldin's paying for that, too." Roxas threw the flattened alarm clock into the trash and sighed. He saw, from the corner of his blue eye, the nervous image of Xemnas. "What?" he was irritated.

_Oh no_, Xemnas thought.

"He -- Hello." Xemnas stuttered.

"What do you want, old hag?" Roxas asked.

"Well, I, uh... Um, I was thinking... That, uh... You'd like to, um... Come to, uh... Las -- Um, Vegas... With, um, us... I-If that's o - o - okay?"

"I can't understand a thing you're saying." Roxas said, putting on his headphones, and listening to loud rock music. Suddenly a body dropped in front of him, and golden eyes glared. He screamed and threw the iPod at the intruder, who retracted up to the ceiling, and dropped back down to glare at him. "XIGBAR, DON'T GIMME A HEART ATTACK!!"

"Sorry, punk." Xigbar said, holding out a ticket.

"what's this?" Roxas suspiciously asked.

"It's a ticket to come to Las Vegas." Xigbar said. "Want to?"

"..." Roxas stared at the ticket. "Um... sure?"

"Good." Xigbar said, retracting back to the ceiling, and then dropping to the floor, standing up to Xemnas. "It's settled then."

"PERFECT!" Xemnas sighed in relief.

"yeah..." Xigbar said.

---

"AREWETHEREYET? AREWETHEREYET? AREWETHEREYET? AREWETHEREYET? AREWETHEREYET? AREWETHEREYET?" Demyx repeatedly and quickly asked.

"No." Xemnas answered.

"COMEONXEMMYAREWETHEREYET?" Demyx shouted.

"Xemmy, he asked if we're there yet." Roxas said.

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!!" Xemnas screamed.

"We can call you whatever we want, Xemmy." Roxas said.

"YEAH!" Axel agreed.

"Whatever, man." Zexion sighed, scooting away from Axel. "Lexaeus..." he whispered. "When we get there... can you save my life?" Lexaeus nodded.

"AREWETHEREYET? AREWETHEREYET? AREWETHEREYET? AREWETHEREYET? AREWETHEREYET? AREWETHEREYET?"

"No."

"HOW LONG HAVE WE BEEN DRIVING!?!?!"

"... About 15 minutes, Demyx."

"HOW LONG TILL WE GET THERE?!"

"... Still about 4 more hours."

"I'M HUNGRY!!"

"We'll get food later."

"FOOD!!" Roxas agreed with Demyx.

"WE'LL GET FOOD LATER!!" Xemnas shouted.

"FOOD!!!" Axel agreed.

"GAAAAHHH!!" Xemnas shouted, banging his head on the steering wheel, causing it to honk each time.

(Ha ha, I'm hungry... am I making you hungry?)

"FOOOOODDDD..." Xigbar repeated to Xemnas. "Annoying little buggars, aren't they?"

"They made me hungry." Xemnas said. "They'll pay for that."

Soon, even Marluxia was chanting with Demyx, Axel, and Roxas. "SHUT UP, MARLUXIA!!!" Larxene shouted.

"AREWETHEREYET? AREWETHEREYET? AREWETHEREYET? AREWETHEREYET? AREWETHEREYET? AREWETHEREYET?"

"No."

"HOW LONG HAVE WE BEEN DRIVING!?!?!"

"... About 16 minutes, Demyx."

"HOW LONG TILL WE GET THERE?!"

"... Still about 4 more hours."

"I'M HUNGRY!!"

"We'll get food later."

---

The car had broke. Just his luck. Xemnas stared at the tire, and sighed. He couldn't just portal there, because Las Vegas was a famous city, and if anybody saw them, they'd be banished, which would kill Xigbar. He poked the deflated tire. "Shoot." he whispered. "What am I to do?" He stared through the glass, and saw five boys tackling each other. "Ugh..." then he noticed, one of them wasn't a boy. "AGAAAHH!!" he shouted, swinging the car door open, causing Roxas, Axel, Marluxia, Demyx, and Larxene's bodies to fall to the sandy floor, except Marluxia landed on a weed, and started crying.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Xemnas shouted.

Marluxia sobbed, "I killed a weed!" he scooped it into a flowerpot, and hugged it.

"I SAID WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"WE'RE GONNA DO THIS UNTIL YOU GET FOOD!" Roxas shouted.

"YEAH!" his friends agreed.

"SHUT UP!!!" Larxene's bad habit rised. "... Marluxia." she said.

"Okkaayy?" Xemnas said, slightly poking Larxene's body with his boot as if to ask her to get up. "YOU, TOO!!" He kicked Roxas.

"I'M TELLING!" Roxas shouted.

"Telling who?" Xemnas glared.

"AAAXXEELLL!!"

Instantly, Xemnas was pwned by Axel.

"No messing with my friend. Got it memorized?"

"... gaahh..." Xemnas rolled over on his back and stared up into the sky.

---

An hour later, they were back on the road.

"AREWETHEREYET? AREWETHEREYET? AREWETHEREYET? AREWETHEREYET? AREWETHEREYET? AREWETHEREYET?"

"No."

"HOW LONG HAVE WE BEEN DRIVING?"

"... About 17 minutes, Demyx."

"HOW LONG TILL WE GET THERE?!"

"... Still about 4 more hours."

"I'M HUNGRY!!"

"We'll get food later.

---

Xemnas had given in and stopped at a McDonalds. "DON'T. WASTE. MY. VALUABLE. GAMBLING. MONEY." Xemnas scolded as they entered the restaurant, causing several people to stare at him.

"CAN I HAVE A COOKIE?" Demyx asked.

"FINE." Xemnas said.

"I'M HUNGRY!!" Roxas shouted.

"ME, TOO!!" Axel shouted.

"BE. QUIET." Xemnas shouted.

"Are these your kids?" A fat Mexican chick asked.

"Uh... They're my... nephews! Except this one!" Xemnas pointed to Larxene. "That's my... er, daughter. And this one!" He pointed to Roxas. "That's my, er, son."

"Uh-huh, whatever." She said, pressing some things on the cash register. "Just shut them up."

"Okay..." Xemnas looked meanly down at them.

"I'M HUNGRY!!" Axel and Roxas shouted.

"WE KNOW!!" The entire restaurant shouted.

"ORDER ALREADY!!" Demyx shouted.

Xemnas slammed his hand down at the counter, and said, "I'DLIKETOORDEREIGHTCHEESEBURGERSONEWITHOUTMEATBECAUSELARXENE'SALLERGICTOMEAT. FORTHEKIDSIWANTFIVECHICKENNUGGETSSIX-PIECEPLEASE. ELEVENFRIESTHREECAESARSALADSTWOFRUITANDWALNUTSALADSELEVENSUNDAESCOOKIESMCFLURRIESANDIFYOUCANTHROWSOMEEXTRAM&MSINTHERETHAT'DBEPERFECT! ANDTOTOPITOFFIWANTTHREEROOTBEERSSIXSPRITESTHIRSTOUT1PEPSI1COKEEVENTHOUGHYOUCAN'TTELLTHEIRFREAKIN'DIFFERENCE1SUNKISTORSUNDANCEWHICHEVERONEYOUHAVEANDONECOFFEE!! PLEASE WITH WHIPPED CREAM AND CHERRY ON TOP!" Xemnas smiled.

"Alright, that's eight cheesburgers, one without meat due to allergies. Five six-piece chicken nuggets. Eleven fries, three ceaesar salads, two fruit-and-walnut-salads, eleven sundaes, eleven cookies, eleven mcflurries, extra M&Ms. Three root beers, six sprites (thirst out!), one pepsi, one coke, one sunkist, and one coffee with whipped cream and a cherry on top?"

"YEAH, WHAT YOU SAID." Xemnas panted.

"Will that be all for you?"

"DUH."

"That'll be..." She pulled the receipt and her eyes widened.

"What?" He snatched the receipt. "AAAAAHHHH!!!!"

Marluxia and Larxene giggled, while Roxas and Demyx instantly bursted out into laughter. Because Roxas was laughing, Axel started laughing even harder. "Too much money, Xemmy?" Xigbar teased.

"There goes my gambling." Xemnas sighed.

"Ha!" Xigbar said. "Don't worry, I've got plenty."

"Good..." Xemnas sighed.

---

"AREWETHEREYET?!?!?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"HOW LONG UNTIL WE GET THERE!??!"

"STILL ABOUT 4 HOURS!!!!"

---

A/N: Muahahaha, I bet when you saw the A/N, you thought I'd end it right there, but not yet, Roxas didn't break the rule yet!

---

Finally peace and quiet. Xemnas was lying on a bed in his hotel suite he had to be sharing with all the other twelve members (well, technically eleven, since Xaldin was on vacation). "I'm tired..." He whispered.

"ME, TOO!" Demyx shouted.

"Aiiieeeee, my ears." Xemnas muttered. "Can you speak without shouting, Demyx?"

"Yeah, sorry, it's caffeine." Demyx said.

"That's okay." Xemnas put an ice-pack to his head. "What time is it?"

"We left at 8 PM, and arrived at midnight. Xigbar's gambling at the Sahara, Luxord's gambling at the Luxor (get it?), Larxene's admiring the bellagio, Roxas is at the all-you-can-eat buffet in Circus Circus, Zexion is in the sixth room meditating Chinese yoga, Marluxia's at the caesar's palace playing with some flowers..."

"WAIT, WHAT!?!?" Xemnas pinned Demyx to the ground. "REPEAT. WHAT. ROXAS. IS DOING."

"... Eating?" Demyx said.

"DO. YOU. KNOW. WHAT. TIME. IT. IS?"

"... Midnight?"

"AAAAAHHHH!!"

Rule #1.

"SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!" Xemnas charged over to the Circus Circus, where he saw some clowns taking off in terror. "Oh nooo..."

---

Roxas was terrorizing the buffet. Xemnas walked in to see plates shattered, cast members running, police coming in with guns, stuff like that. Roxas was passed out on the floor. "AAHH!!" Xemnas shouted. "I LEFT HIM UNSUPERVISED AND I KILLED HIM!!!" Xemnas sobbed.

"FREEZE!" the police shouted.

"AAH!" Xemnas gasped. "I'm just here to -- I don't know him."

"You do." the police said. "who's this?"

"He's my -- NEPHEW!"

"... Please collect your nephew and let his mother pay for the damage."

"Okay... I'll call Xaldin immediately."

"What a strange name for a woman."

"I know!"

---

"What's wrong with him?" Xigbar asked, staring at the unconscious Roxas lying on Xemnas's bed.

"I DUNNO!!"

"..." Xigbar checked his pulse. "It's kinda fast."

"YOU THINK I DUNNO THAT!?"

"..." Xigbar poked the body. "He's alive, you know."

"YOU THINK I DUNNO THAT EITHER!?"

"..." Xigbar opened one of Roxas's eyes to see it unfocused. "I'm just trying to help."

"GAAAHHHHH!!! YOU THINK I DUNNO ANYTHING OR SOMETHING!?!?!"

"..." Xigbar then took out one gun. "You're cranky. Can I shoot you?"

"Not sedatives!" Xemnas screamed. "Those are for Roxas!!"

Xigbar pulled the trigger.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Xemnas dropped lifeless to the floor.

Xigbar pulled the trigger again.

And again. And again. And again.

Xemnas opened his eyes, "Nothing happened."

"THERE'S NOTHING IN HERE!" Xigbar screamed. "I was sure I loaded it --" He saw blonde hair on the gun. "HOLY COW, ROXAS ATE THE SEDATIVES!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Xemnas screamed. "AND IT'S AFTER MIDNIGHT. MAN, XALDIN'S GONNA KILL ME!!"

---

A/N: Suspense!! I love this chapter.

Chapter Preview:

Rule #2 "Buy him whatever he wants (OR ELSE!)"


	4. Rule 2: Buy Him Whatever He Wants

A/N: This chapter will star Xemnas and XALDIN!?!? This is my longest chapter so far. 

---

Xemnas was resting peacefully... but whenever he actually thought something like, _'Ah, it's so peaceful...'_ something would interrupt that thought. This time, it nearly caused him to die of fright.

"XEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!" Roxas sobbed.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Xemnas fell out of his bed, and noticed that Roxas was right there beside him earlier. "WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN THERE!?!?"

(A/N: Okaaay, this isn't yaoi... When you have kids someday and if you do, they usually like crawling up to older people's beds and ask them to read them a story or something... If you're one of those yaoi weirdos... O.o ew... good for you.)

"MY STOMACH WAS HURTING!!!" Roxas shouted. "PLUS, I WOKE UP HERE, YOU PUT ME HERE!!"

Oh, that was right. Xemnas had forgotten he put Roxas there, and he had fallen asleep passed out on his own bed so that meant... O.o

"Wait a minute..." Xemnas shouted, pointing accusingly at the little teenager. "WHAT. IS. YOUR. PROBLEM? WHY'D YOU EAT AFTER MIDNIGHT?"

"I WAS HUNGRY! I'M STILL GROWING, Y'KNOW!" Roxas shouted.

"..." Xemnas stared. And stared. And, YOU GET THE PICTURE. "Fluff-ball."

"What did you call me!?"

"... You heard me. Fluff-ball."

"THAT'S IT!" Roxas shouted, pwning Xemnas. "YOU'RE DEAD!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Xemnas shouted.

Vexen was reading Xaldin's journal. "The consequences for feeding the little brat after midnight was super-strength, his complaints of his stomach hurting, and quite... scary behiavior."

"SHOOOOOOOTTT!!" Xemnas shouted as the teenager was attacking him. "YOU'RE DEAD, DEAD, DEAD, DEAD, DEAD!!" Roxas went into game mode. "DIE!!!"

"NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!" Xemnas screamed. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!"

---

Xemnas was trying to keep calm. He was in the Paris casino. He stayed calm, very calm. "I love the silence." He then expected Roxas to attack him with a toy gun or even worse, his keyblades. But instead, he got something worse.

"You fed him after midnight, didn't you?"

"HUH?" Xemnas spun around to see...

---

A/N: THE END!! no, just kidding. Wouldn't that suck?

---

"Xaldin?" Xemnas poked the taller member's face. He gasped, "It's real. It moves."

"Yes, I'm real." Xaldin sighed. "Tell me what happened."

"Okaayyy..." Xemnas said. "WAIT A MINUTE!" He tackled Xaldin to the floor. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN A PLACE LIKE THIS?"

"I'm on vacation." Xaldin said. "I chose Las Vegas for this week!!"

"Oh." Xemnas said. "Wait... that ain't right."

"Have you felt the wrath of Roxas?" Xaldin asked.

"More than once." Xemnas replied, sighing. "I now admire you, #3."

"Then gimme a hug."

"WHAT?"

"Just kidding, superior."

---

"Hey, Vexen." Xemnas said back at the hotel room. "HUH!? WHERE'S ROXAS!? HE USED TO BE HANDICAP TO A BED BECAUSE HE COULDN'T MOVE BECAUSE HIS STOMACH HURT!!"

"Oh yeah..." Vexen said. "He jumped out the window."

"WHAT!? YOU FOOL, THIS IS THE STRATOSPHERE!!" Xemnas ran to the open window. "I'M COMING ROXAS!!" He jumped out.

A scream echoed throughout Las Vegas... from the Stratosphere.

Vexen looked down to see that Xemnas had fallen 2 feet. "We're on ground level, you idiot." Vexen reminded him.

---

"I'm too young for this." Xemnas said, not wanting to think of himself as 'old'. "Where could that child be?"

Saix was up a lamppost hiding. "AAAHHH!!"

"SAIX!?!" Xemnas shouted, running up to the lamppost. "What happened?!"

"I... didn't give Roxas what he wanted." Saix replied.

Rule #2: Give him whatever he wants (OR ELSE).

"Shoot." Xemnas said. "What did he want?"

"He wanted me to... be a clown at Circus Circus!" Saix cried out.

"Hey, that's not a bad idea!" Xemnas said.

"HEY!!" Saix shouted. "If I wasn't up here, I'd slap you."

"Joy." Xemnas said. "Do you know where he went?"

"To the Luxor."

"Where Luxord is?"

"Yeah."

"... I've been Luxor'd."

---

Xemnas walked through the casino, pondering over the slot machines, wondering if he should press his luck or find Luxord and ask him if he had Roxas. There was Luxord, crying. It must've been bad. Xemnas ran to Luxord, "Hey, Luxy, have you seen --"

"HE STOLE MY MONEY!!"

"..." Xemnas said, "Well, that's not important, right now I need to know if -- ROXAS STOLE ALL OF YOUR MONEY!!?! HOW MUCH WAS THERE!?"

"Few hundred thousand."

"Ohhhhh crap."

Xemnas took off running. "If you can find him, can you get my money back, please?" Luxord sobbed.

"I promise, Luxord!" Xemnas called out.

---

A/N: That's why this fanfiction is under the category of humor and angst

---

Roxas was at the New York, New York. (man, he's fast for such a small guy)

"ROXASSS!!" Xemnas shouted.

"Hey, Xemmie." He calmly said, handing some money to somebody, and walking through a place with red rails. Xemnas should've paid attention and should've been warned about Roxas a little sooner, because he can trick people.

"WHAT'RE YOU DOING WITH LUXORD'S MONEY!?"

"He means 'Luxor', guys." Roxas told some random people.

"Oh, okay." They said.

"Yeah, I won it from a slot machine."

"YOU DIDN'T!" Xemnas shouted. "GIMME THE MONEY BACK RIGHT NOW!"

"Don't argue with me, Mr." Roxas said. "You don't want to face the consequences."

Xemnas grabbed Roxas's wrist. "WE'RE LEAVING!!"

Suddenly Roxas said, "So this is what you want? So be it." He inhaled.

"What? Oh no." Xemnas knew he shouldn't have broke rule #2.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

Several security guards saw a tan-skinned murderer-looking man dragging an innocent blonde teen by the wrist. "THIS MAN IS TRYING TO KILL ME!! HE SHOWED ME HIS GUN!!"

"WHAT!?" Xemnas shouted. "What kind of gun do you mean!?" His eyes widened.

"The thingie you shoot with bullets that shoots objects?" A security guard asked, making sure he got the right story, either way he could sue Xemnas for harrassment.

"YES, THAT ONE." Roxas said.

"YOU'RE DISGUSTING." Xemnas said.

"What, can I say? I watch TV." Roxas said.

"ARREST HIM!!" Cops tackled Xemnas.

"I'M SORRY!" Xemnas cried. "I'LL... I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT, ROXAS!! ANYTHING!! JUST DON'T LET THEM ARREST ME!"

"Anything?" Roxas grinned.

"YES, ANYTHING!" Xemnas screamed.

"Alright, let him go." Roxas said.

Xemnas stood up, "What do you want from me?"

Roxas grabbed him by the wrist, the red rails swung open, and he was pushed into a black chair. "What's this?" Xemnas asked. The restraints were lowered to his lap and his shoulders. "Oh no..."

"You're going on the Manhatten Express with me!" Roxas said, and the restraints were pulled down. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" the scream echoed out.

---

A/N: I love the Manhatten Express! The first time I went on it (i've only been on it once), I was the one dragging somebody on... bwahaha, I'm Roxas! Just kidding.

---

"YOU ARE SO DEAD!!" Xemnas said as the roller coaster exited its station and started climbing up the red-tracked hill.

"You said anything." Roxas grinned.

"GIVE LUXORD'S MONEY BACK!" Xemnas shouted. "OH, I SHOULD'VE LET THEM ARREST YOU FOR STEALING MONEY!! BUT I WILL AFTER THE RIDE, I'LL GRAB YOU AGAIN AND CALL YOU MY SON!"

"Too late." Roxas grinned again.

"STOP GRINNING!"

"What, you're annoyed? I'll do it again." Roxas grinned again.

"STOP THAT SLY GRIN!"

Again.

"STOP!"

Again.

"STOP!"

Again.

"STTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!"

Again.

Xemnas stopped screaming and pouted, but then he looked to his right, where Roxas wasn't, and saw how high they were. "How long have we been climbing?"

"Dunno." Roxas replied. "But we're as high as some of these buildings."

More silence.

"GIVE LUXORD'S MONEY BACK!" Xemnas shouted.

"No." Roxas said. "Mine."

"I'LL SUE YOU!"

"Sue a minor, go ahead."

"... Yikes, you already know economics?"

"Duh."

"... How long have we been climbing up?"

"Long."

"... When will it end?"

"Dunno."

"GIVE LUXORD'S MONEY BACK!"

"Once again, no."

"GIMME IT!!" Xemnas grabbed the bag Roxas had.

"You're gonna lose that bag." Roxas said.

"NO I'M NOT!" The hill (FINALLY!) stopped. Xemnas gulped.

---

A/N: Oh yeah, when I went on that, I was asking my friend "HOW LONG HAVE WE BEEN CLIMBING!? WHEN WILL IT END!?" and she's all "Uhhhh... UHH... UMM..." When it ended, we expected to plummet to our doom. hahaha, but instead, it went easy on us.

---

"We are like 200 feet high." A random dude behind them said.

"WHAT?!" Xemnas tossed the bag over to Roxas.

"Thank you." Roxas fastened it to himself.

"AAAHHH!!' Xemnas gripped onto the lapbar. "THIS IS ALL I HAVE!?"

"Yeah." Roxas said. "Unless you wanna grip to the annoying thingies on your shoulders."

"GRRRR." Xemnas said. The roller coaster slowly tilted downward. "RROOOOOOOOOOOOXXXXXXXXXAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!"

The roller coaster plummeted down the track allowing them to have time to scream loudly. It climbed another hill, taller than the previous one, maxing the 180 feet high limit, and 200 feet high limit. It then dove down, reaching 67 miles per hour. When it dove 200 feet down, there was a high squeaky scream. It wasn't Roxas, I swear. He was staring at Xemnas, who was screaming like a little sister on The Tower of Terror.

---

A/N: You can tell I love this kind of stuff. Tower of Terror is TEH best ride ever. ('teh' was misspelled on purpose)

---

"HERE COMES THE TERROR!!" Roxas screamed.

"WHAT!?" Xemnas shouted. "IT CAN GET WORSE!?"

"YEAHHH!!" Roxas shouted.

Suddenly Xemnas looked ahead of him, "HOOOOLLLYYYY... COOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!"

The roller coaster pulled itself into a loop.

Xemnas: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

Roxas: "WHEEEEEEEE!! WHOO HOOO!! AGAIN!!!! AGAIN!!!!"

Xemnas: "NOOOO, NOT AGAIN!! GAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

"Hey, is that Xemnas?" Xigbar asked from the distance.

"Yeah." Vexen replied.

---

A/N: Don't you just love these annoying interruptions? I rode Manhatten Express at night, but this is day, just to let you know, that's how they could tell. Don't worry, Vexen didn't feed Xigbar and himself some weird glow-in-the-dark vision concoction something or other.

---

Xemnas was cursing to himself, and Roxas was actually raising his hands. "HERE COMES THE REALLY SCARY PART!!" Roxas warned Xemnas.

"NOOOO!! ARE YOU SERIOUS!?" Xemnas's eyes widened to see that the track seemed to end. "AAAHHH SUICIDE!!"

"NOPE, WORSE!" Roxas said. "LOOP DIVE!!!!"

The roller coaster jerked to the left all the sideways until Xemnas thought it couldn't go any further, but it did. It went tilted so much to the left, that it went UPSIDE-DOWN. The roller coaster was upside-down for several seconds, just going straight ahead. Xemnas was screaming in terror, and Roxas seemed to be enjoying this. "WANT YOUR MONEY BACK!?" Roxas tossed the bag, which floated. Xemnas let go, and instantly caught it, but he shrieked louder, which Roxas would pay that much just to hear. The roller coaster then dove out of the upside-down track to a half-loop. Xemnas was lying back in his seat dying, gripping onto the bag. The rest of the coaster was basically turns, small dips, and some helixes.

"Yup, definitely Xemnas." Xigbar said.

"Agreed." Vexen said.

---

Xemnas was dying, and Roxas leaped out of the coaster. "What you want to go again? Okay!" Roxas teased.

Xemnas raced out for the exit. "Hey, I bought the picture!" Roxas said.

"They take pictures!?" Xemnas asked.

---

A/N: I swear I'll stop making these notes, it's just that... haha, well I love Vegas. Anyway, I bought my picture for the first time I went on Manhatten Express. Oh yeah, I was all raising my hands, going "WHOO, THIS IS THE RUSH OF THE CENTURY!!" And so was my friend.

---

"Look at you!" Roxas laughed, and pointed to Xemnas who was holding onto a bag, looking like he was doing drugs or something (That, my friends, is why it is rated T for Teen). Roxas giggled his head off, "AND LOOK AT ME!!" Roxas was raising his hands as if to say "THIS IS THE RUSH OF THE CENTURY!!" (oh yeah, I'm so Roxas x.x)

"Note to self..." Xemnas said, as he carried Luxord's money, ready to deliver it, saying that there was like about $300 missing. "... Never trust Roxas again."

---

A/N: Man, this is so fun to write! Next chappy will still be in Vegas (ha, thanks Xiggy)

Next Chapter Preview:

"Rule #3: Don't touch him, talk to him, or approach him when he's mad"

I swear I made the rules out of nowhere. I didn't know it would follow so in synch with the story! I love this! R & R please.


	5. Rule 3: Never Get Him Mad

A/N: This chapter will star Xemnas and Vexen (I love to make him cry) 

---

"THANKYOU! THANKYOU! THANKYOU! THANKYOU!!" Luxord was kissing Xemnas's boots.

"There's $300 missing..." Xemnas said.

"THANKYOU! THANKYOU! THANKYOU!" Luxord didn't stop kissing his shoes.

"I guess my shoes did have to be cleaned." Xemnas said. "Thanks, Luxord."

"NO, THANKYOU!!!" Luxord shouted.

"Uh, you're welcome?" Xemnas said.

"THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!"

---

"Ah, there you are."

Xemnas saw the blonde-haired Vexen staring at him madly.

"Uh, why the face?" he asked.

"Xigbar," Vexen pronounced his name with a long, long 'R', "Demyx, and Roxas have gone missing."

"JEEZ, DOES THIS KID HATE ME!?" Xemnas screamed.

"I suppose so." Vexen said.

Xemnas ran toward the window.

"And don't think of jumping the window again."

"Fine." Xemnas pouted, and ran toward the door, but it slammed open, knocking him to the floor.

"YO!!" Zexion shouted. "Yo' gimme a hart' attack."

"Huh?" Xemnas and Vexen said; Vexen started crying.

"I think he said you gave him a heart attack." Lexaeus said, as he was behind his best friend, Zexion. "Right, Zexy?"

"Uh, ya'."

"O.o"... Xemnas and Vexen stared at each other.

"Let's go, Vexy, we must find..." Xemnas said, "AAHHH!! ROXAS! WHERE IS ROXAS!?"

"Do you have alzheimer's or something?" Vexen asked. "You just said that."

"Crap, I did." Xemnas ran out in the halls shouting Roxas's name.

---

"HEY, XEMNAS, LOOK AT ME!!" Roxas was dangling off the edge of the stratosphere.

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" Xemnas screamed, diving off the 1000-foot building. He saw Roxas crash and die a horrible death, and noticed he would, too. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

---

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Xemnas woke up in a dark place with romantic music playing. "What the..." He sat up. "Where am I?"

"You're in Vegas, baby!!" Xigbar was drunk, and swinging two bottles of alcohol around.

"Whaaaaaat?" Xemnas said, still lying on the floor, "Why are you dancing like that?" Suddenly his eyes widened, "EW! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" (ha, I'll leave your imagination of what happened)

Xemnas was lying on the ground and he saw a glass containing liquor that was knocked over, meaning he had gotten drunk and ended up somewhere. "Uh, what happened?"

"I'll explain the whole thing." Demyx said.

"DEMYX!" Xemnas gasped. "YOU'RE NOT EVEN 17, AND YET, YOU'RE HERE!! IN AN AGES 21 AND OLDER CLUB!!"

"SSHHH!!" Demyx said. "I snuck in."

"What is this place, really!?" Xemnas asked.

"Bikini club."

"EWW!!" Xemnas smacked Demyx. "GROSS! WHY'D YOU WANNA BE HERE!? GET ME OUTTA HERE!"

"Uh, Xemnas, can I explain?" Demyx asked.

Xemnas gasped, "You called my name for the first time... You didn't say Xemmy!!"

"Uh, yeah." Demyx said. "Don't hug me."

"Okay." Xemnas said, sitting up. "What's the story?"

"Okay..." Demyx inhaled.

---

It was a lovely day and Demyx was just walking around when Xigbar invited him and Xemnas to a bikini club. Xemnas said it was a perfect idea to get his mind off of things. Demyx wanted to go because Xigbar was going, and Xigbar was cool unlike the old geezers. They went there, and watched some pretty weird shows, but later, Demyx went to this weird place, and got separated from them.

Xemnas and Xigbar got drunk, but Demyx didn't drink anything offered to him. Xemnas was the one on a stage, without a shirt, singing the 'American anthem'.

"OOOOHHHHH, SAY CAN YOU SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!?!?!?!" Xemnas sang. "WHERE THE BANNER THING HAAANNNNGGGGSSSSS. THHHEEEE PUUUURRRPPPLLLEEE MAAJEESSTTYYYYY... HEEEE'S A WEEEIRD, WEEIRD, WEEEEIRD KIIING! IFFFFF I COOOOULLLD VOOOOOTEEEEE, I'DDDD RUNNNN FOR CAAAMPPPAIIIGNNN. THEN I'DD TRIP OVEEERRR AAA RAAAATTTT!!!" (translation: Oh, say can you see? Where the banner thing hangs. The purple majesty... he's a weird, weird, weird king. If I could vote, I'd run for campaign. Then I'd trip over a rat!)

Demyx found him passed out drunk, and tried to revive him. It didn't work so he went to get help, but then didn't want to leave knowing he might not be able to come back in, so he watched a bikini show. Xigbar was drunk and singing for a while, and didn't get affected as easily as Xemnas would. Demyx said that Xemnas revived and began singing a birthday song, "FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD MELLON!! FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD POPSICLE!! FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD MEEELLLLOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN!!!! THAT ISN'T EDIBLE!! HE ISN'T EDIBLE!!! FOR HE'S A ROTTON MEELLLOOOONNN!! A PREPOSTEROUS, BLASPHOMIEEE MEELLOOONNN!!!"

---

"I DID WHAT!?" Xemnas screamed.

"YEAH IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY!" Demyx laughed.

"I had a nightmare that Roxas died --" Xemnas said. "WAIT, WHERE'S THE LITTLE BRAT!?!?"

"You mean melon?" Demyx laughed.

"GAH!!" He knocked poor Demyx over.

"HAHAHHAAHA!" Demyx laughed.

"WEIRDO!" Xemnas charged out of the club.

---

"Roxas?" Xemnas called out. "Roxas?!?"

There was Roxas, and he was mad.

"Hey, buddy, what's wrong?" Xemnas asked.

"Get away from me." Roxas said.

"Uh, why, what's wrong?" Xemnas asked, putting one hand on Roxas's shoulder

"DON'T PRY!" Roxas shoved Xemnas to the ground.

"Hey!" Xemnas said, just about ready to summon his light sabers and kill him. "Ugh..." He clenched his fists. "What's your problem?"

"STOP FOLLOWING ME!"

"I AM YOUR BABYSITTER!"

"I WISH XALDIN WAS HERE!!"

"HAH, WHO NEEDS XALDIN WHEN YOU'VE GOT ME?!"

"I DO!"

There was silence. He had broken Rule #3: Don't touch him, talk to him, or approach him when he's mad. He had broken all three actions on Rule #3.

"Crap." Xemnas said.

"Crap is right." Roxas said, pushing him away. "Go away."

"No." Xemnas said.

"GO AWAY!!" Roxas shoved him again.

Xemnas stood up and shoved him back. "STOP THAT!! OBEY YOUR BABYSITTER, YOU PUNK!"

Roxas lied on the pavement motionless, staring at the sky.

"Oops." Xemnas whispered.

Roxas opened his mouth wide, "WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"

"STOP THAT ANNOYING CRYING!!"

"WAAAAHHH!! WAHHHH!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!" Roxas sobbed. "I WISH XALDIN WAS HERE!!!! I HATE YOU, XEMNAS!! I'M DITCHING THE ORGANIZATION!!"

"DON'T SAY THAT!" Xemnas kicked the body that was lying on the floor, and Roxas sobbed louder.

"CHILD ABUSE!!" Lots of the angry women from the bikini club came running out.

"AAHHH!" Xemnas picked up Roxas and ran. "STOP! STOP! STOP! HE'S NOT MY KID!!"

"AAAHHH CHILD ABUSE!!" they screamed louder.

"NOOOOOOO!! IT'S NOT!!" Xemnas screamed. "HE OVERREACTED!!"

---

"Vexen?" Xemnas said.

"Intriguing." Vexen said, arriving by portal.

Xemnas gasped, "Vexen, that's forbidden or we'll be kicked out!"

"Rubbish, nobody's here." Vexen said.

Xemnas looked around. "Indeed."

"What did you want?" Vexen snapped.

"Don't cry." Xemnas said.

"Who said I would?!" Vexen hissed.

"Uh, nobody." Xemnas replied. "Listen, I'm having a problem with Roxas."

"Blasphemy." Vexen said. "Well, what about the boy?"

"He's... uh, angry at me." Xemnas said.

"But, why, Xemnas? Think hard." Vexen said.

"Oh." Xemnas said. "I remember... His money was returned, but what he really was angry about was... what Demyx said."

"What did the musician say?" Vexen asked.

"He said that I slapped him." Xemnas said. "But I was drunk..."

"Hmm..." Vexen pondered. "Perhaps you should apologize."

"APOLOGIZE!? ME!?!?" Xemnas asked.

"Yes, Superior."

---

A/N: Once again, the angst-ness.

---

"Roxas..." Xemnas said.

"WHAT?" Roxas shoved him.

"GRAAHAHGHGAHHFAGARHAHAHH!!!" Xemnas tackled the boy to the ground. "STOP THAT!!"

"WHAT DO YOU WANT, OLD MAN?!" Roxas screamed.

"OLD MAN!? I'LL SHOW YOU OLD MAN!!" Xemnas shouted, clenching his fist, pulling it back, and ready to send a powerful blow to Roxas's face. He stopped, and was silent. "Roxas..." Roxas looked at him in utter silence. "I... I'm..."

"You're sorry?" Roxas asked.

"Yes." Xemnas said.

"WELL TOO LATE!" Roxas slapped Xemnas. "PAYBACK, ARRGHHH!"

"Heeeey." Xemnas laughed, tickling the teen.

"HOLY COW!!" Drunk Xigbar and Demyx (yes, Demyx was drunk!) said. "XEMNAS, WHO'S THAT!? YOU GOT YOURSELF A WOMAN!?"

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Xemnas's humor washed away and he tackled the two hippies.

"Did ya know that hippie is short for hypocrit?" Roxas pondered to himself. "Uh, is it?"

"DUNNO!!" Xemnas screamed, beating up Xigbar and Demyx. "YOU PERVERTS, THAT'S ROXAS, NOT A WOMAN!!"

"WHAT?! THAN WHAT WERE YOU DOING TO THE POOR LITTLE KID!?" They shouted.

"TICKLING HIM!!" Xemnas paused realizing how wrong that seemed. "GAAAHHHHH JUST FORGET I SAY ANYTHING!!!"

"YOU'RE NASTY, SUPERIOR!!" They shouted.

"That's messed up..." Roxas said.

---

A/N: Ha, sorry for the yuckiness... O.o (I'm weird)

Coming up on next chapter:

"Rule #4: Don't Ever Give Him Caffeine"


	6. Rule 4: Never Give Him Caffeine

A/N: This chapter will star Xemnas and Lexaeus 

---

Xemnas swore he was about to have a heart-attack. He lay lifeless on his bed, ice-pack to his head, and swearing under his breath, thinking that Roxas OBVIOUSLY had run off again. "Curse my life..." he whispered, clenching his fists, and grinding his teeth.

"Superi --" Lexaeus began, but was instantly cut off when Xemnas screamed bloody murder. "WHAT'S WRONG!?" Lexaeus shouted.

"ROXAS IS GONE AGAIN, PROBABLY!!" Xemnas growled, and Lexaeus began to laugh. "SHUT UP AND HELP ME FIND HIM!" he struggled to put his coat on to head on outside.

"$#..." Lexaeus suddenly said, widening his eyes, recalling what Roxas had said earlier that day.

"WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM!?" Xemnas asked in a VERY loud tone. "WHY THE CREEPY STARE!?"

"I just remembered what Roxas said earlier today!" Lexaeus gasped, clapping a hand over his mouth in total shock. "Something about that he needed caffeine..."

"CRAP!!" Xemnas pushed the muscular Lexaeus over, and headed out the door. "HE'S GOING TO GET CAFFEINE AND SUGAR-HIGH!! LOTS OF RULES WILL BE BROKE!! I HATE MY LIFE!! CURSE YOU XALDIN!"

"Dude, calm down." Xigbar calmly said, walking on the ceiling.

"Come on, I know exactly where he is!" Lexaeus said, grabbing Xemnas's hand. "He's at Starbucks!"

"Wait, there's a Starbucks in Vegas?" Xemnas asked.

---

Roxas stood in line, glaring at all the goodies of brownies, chocolates, cookies, and other sugar delights. He stared at the huge list of drinks ranging from coffees to cappucinos, to hot chocolates, to mochas, to lattes, and teas... he just couldn't choose.

"Welcome to Starbucks! What may I get for you today?"

"Coffee." Roxas demanded, slamming his hand down at the counter. "THE STRONGEST YOU'VE GOT!"

"Aren't you a little young to be drink caffeinated drinks?" the lady asked, standing beside the man who was scared half-to-death by Roxas.

"My daddy gives me them all the time so I don't die..." Roxas winked. "I run on caffeine."

Their eyes widened, and they whipped up the STRONGEST coffee they could find for him. "THANK YOU!!" Roxas snatched up the hot coffee, and began greedily gulping down the HUMONGOUS tall cup of coffee, the largest size ever possible... larger than venti...

That's when Xemnas walked in... R.I.P Xemnas.

"NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Xemnas jumped in the air in slow-motion with Lexaeus falling behind. His hand slowly reached out, and his orange eyes glowing with fear. Roxas gave an evil look at them, crushing the empty cup as they both plummeted slowly to the floor and impacting painfully. Xemnas was silent before he said, "CRAAAAPPPP!!!!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" Roxas began screaming as the caffeine took effect and he became WAY too lively.

"EVERYBODY RUN TO YOUR HOMES!!" Lexaeus warned. "LOCK YOURSELVES IN YOUR HOUSEES, IF NOT YOUR CLOSETS!! BRING A FOOD SUPPLY AND A RADIO AND CANDLES IN CASE THE ELECTRICITY GOES OUT!! SHUT DOWN THE CITY!! THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! ROXAS JUST HAD CAFFEINE!! I REPEAT! ROXAS JUST HAD CAFFEINE!!!!"

Everybody took off screaming and running as the teenager ripped up the store, foaming at the mouth, and drooling while his eyes gleamed evilly and he gave the weirdest squeaky evil bad guy laugh. Xemnas jumped into the air, trying to restrain Roxas to a collar. "THERE!!" Xemnas shouted as soon as the out-of-control boy was hooked onto the leash. "... Shoot." Xemnas said, and Roxas took off running, dragging Xemnas in the dust.

"SUPERIOR!" Lexaeus shouted, running out the door seeing a cloud of dust blind him and the whole city... yeah, Roxas was running that fast.

"NONONONONONO!!" Xemnas shouted, being dragged at 90 mph. "AAAAHHH STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP!!"

"I LIKE DAISES!!!!!" Roxas screamed, knocking Xemnas into lampposts, walls, and occasionally, people. "DAISES DAISES DAISES!! POPCORN!! GRAAHH!!!"

Xemnas was riding from the Stratosphere area toward the Sahara. "NOOO!!" he screamed, knocking down the HUGE camel sign to the Sahara. He tightened his grip on the collar and started to feel the screeching pain of the impact. "YOU GOTTA SLOW DOWN SOMETIME, ROXY!!" he shouted at Roxas who was running too fast and had too much horsepower to even hear him.

"SILLY PUDDY!!!!" Roxas screamed, running inside the Sahara, terrorizing the casino, knocking down slot machine after slot machine, making them spit up millions of dollars of cash. Luxord rejoiced, kissing the floor, screaming how much he loved Las Vegas. "ROLLER COASTER!!!!!"

"WHAT!?" Xemnas screamed as Roxas ran inside the Speed! roller coaster, and the restraints locked him and Xemnas inside, who was screaming bloody murder once again. The roller coaster launched fast, but not as fast as Roxas was going. After the loop, and heading vertically up, it plummeted backward, and as soon as it stopped, Roxas charged out of the hotel with screaming Xemnas dragging behind.

"EXCALIBUR!!! KNIGHTS KNIGHTS KNIGHTS!! HORSES!!! GAY KINGS!!!" Roxas screamed, heading towards the Excalibur.

"NOOO!!" Xemnas screamed, knocking down that wizard in front of Excalibur. "Oh, poor Merlin..."

Then Roxas headed towards the Wynn, "SHINY GOLD BUILDING!!!"

"AAAHHHH!!" Xemnas screamed, slamming inside the Wynn.

Roxas then headed towards the MGM, "AAAHHH SHINY SHINY SHINY SHINY!! PLAY PLAY PLAY PLAY PLAY!!!!!"

Xemnas, "SSSSSSTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPP!!!!!!"

Roxas headed towards the Circus Circus, "PRETTY CLOWNS!!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!" Xemnas shrieked.

Roxas also went to the Mandalay Bay, the Luxor, and all the other hotels you could think of... poor Xemnas, haha.

---

When Xemnas came back to his hotel room, he was half-alive... "Note to self..."

"Yes, Superior?" Lexaeus said, amused.

"NEVER GIVE ROXAS CAFFEINE!!"

"Don't worry," Lexaeus said. "Larxene is with him... which is good."

---

Meanwhile...

"CLEAN UP THOSE DISHES!!!" Larxene took a whip and struck Roxas.

"YIPE!" Roxas was wearing maid-wear, matching Larxene's outfit. "YES, MA'AM."

Ha, poor Roxas, too...

---

Next Chapter:

Rule #5: Don't EVER give him sugar...


	7. Rule 5: Never Give Him Sugar

A/N: This chapter will star Xemnas and Zexion, I think? Maybe not, maybe just Xemnas and Roxas... sorry for the non-frequent updates... I'm always brainstorming and trying to make ideas to this... Sorry it seems so 5-year-oldish in details... It's mostly based on the script... 

---

"I'm finished with you..." Xemnas said, tying Roxas up with rope, even though he knew the crazy teenager would break loose in about 3, 2, 1...

Roxas snapped the ropes and shoved Xemnas, "Dude, I'm not a wild animal..." he said, finally calming down and evilly tearing up Las Vegas, which Xemnas now owed over $2.5 million to each hotel... except Caesar's Palace, Bellagio, Stardust, and Treasure Island. "Why don't you treat me like I'm a normal kid?" DUH, the answer was obvious.

"Because YOU'RE NOT a normal kid!" Xemnas shouted, "And you know that!"

"I'm special!" Roxas grinned evilly... oh, he was a lot like Sora... destroying things... even without his Keyblade.

"As a punishment..." Xemnas said, dragging the 15-year-old by the arm, "You and I are going to take a break from this place, and a few members who wish to go see a different location... we'll be back after you are trained properly, AND NOT CAFFEINE-HIGH!" Xemnas learned a lesson...

"B-b-b-bu-but..." Roxas's eyes filled with tears. "I LIKE LAS VEGAS!!!" he began crying, bawling, and sobbing.

"Aww it's okay..." Xemnas fakely said, dragging the tantrumized Roxas behind him. "Calm down, useless brat."

"I can't calm down!" Roxas sobbed. "YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL ME!!"

"No.. we're going to Disney World."

"Disney World?" Roxas asked.

"Uh, yeah?" Should Xemnas be afraid?

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Roxas snapped the leash quickly and barged out of the hotel in excitement, leaving poor Xemnas lying on the ground while the smoke clears. Xemnas groaned, still holding onto the snapped leash, as he heard, "RHINOCEROSES!!! PONIES!! TRAINS! CHOCOLATE!! MILKY WAY!! COMETS! STARS!!! AAAHHHH MERMAIDS!!" Xemnas couldn't stand up, he just laid there listening to Roxas's own little stupid language through the open window he always tried to jump out of, "BUNNIES! BUNNIES! BUNNIES! PAPER!! PAPER DOLLS!! RING AROUND THE ROSY!! PRINTERS!! PENCILS!! WE'RE NOT GOING BACK TO SCHOOL, JOY TO THE GROUND!!"

"Can somebody shut that kid up?" Xemnas asked, "I BET PEOPLE AT THE LUXOR CAN HEAR HIM FROM HERE!!!"

"WHEEEE... MERRY GO ROUNDS, CREEPY CLOWNS, UPS AND DOWNS, VOWELS AND SOUNDS!!! BANANA CAKE, WHO'S TO BAKE, IT'S A FAKE, YOU'RE IT BLAKE, A CAKE WE'LL MAKE, LEAVES TO RAKE, DRINKING SAKE!"

---

It took thirty minutes to strap Roxas completely inside the car... uh-oh, he better have not gotten sugar-high... thankfully, he didn't, but this made Xemnas horrified, wondering WHAT Roxas would do if he ever got close to sugar-high... oh man, he'd be thousands of times worse than the presentation he performed earlier.

"Okay, Roxas." Xemnas said, narrowing his eyes at the teenager, "I will introduce you to the built-in DVD system." he revealed the built-in DVD he had in the car that was forbidden to use because of Roxas... and his TV fanaticism. "Oops, did I break a rule?" Xemnas hated those stupid rules, but reviewed them. "Anything against TV? Crap, I thought I memorized these..."

Roxas was busy staring at the shiny blank screen while Xemnas whispered to himself, "Rule #18... Don't let him watch too much TV... well, 2 days of TV straight while driving to Florida isn't too much... o.o is it?" Indeed it was, since 10 minutes would already hyper-fy Roxas. (A/N: Is hyper-fy a word? o.o Thought not.)

By the first thirty minutes, Xemnas could already see Roxas going insane by the rear-view mirror. He always had to ask every five minutes if Roxas was going to have a seizure... it looked like it by the way he was squirming, tied to the seat by metal chains and ropes, with a tempting cup of coffee with sugar in front of him just to make him suffer as much as Xemnas had to. "I can't believe it's only been... what? A week!?"

Roxas was dead asleep, drooling... Perfect. Now Xemnas had to know if Roxas had acid spit... he hoped not. The poor leather seats. Roxas surely wasn't THAT abnormally inhuman, was he? ... uh, is he?

---

The car had to break down in front of a gasoline station, didn't it? Xemnas groaned as he slammed his car door shut, and headed inside the convenience store to see what the hell went wrong. He entered to be horrified... looking at all the tempting reese's pieces, chocolate kisses, kit kat bars, gummy worms, breath mints, chewing gum, flaming hot cheetos, potato chips, and other goodies were inside... too much sugar would probably do something funky to Roxas. "Um, may I... help you?" the cashier asked; Xemnas shot a freaked-out stare at her, and she jumped at this.

"Yes!!" Xemnas dove to the counter, but ended up lying face-down on the floor. He climbed upright, and said, "IT'SNOTMYFAULTMYCARBROKEDOWNINFRONTOFTHISGASSTATIONIHAVEASLEEPINGSCARYBRATINTHECARISWEARHEHASACIDBREATH... ANDEVERYBODYIKNOWISN'THERETHEY'REINLASVEGAS... IWASGONNATAKEHIMTODISNEYWORLDSOHEWOULDN'TBESUCHAPAINBUTNOW... MYFU... MYCARBROKEDOWNHERE... ANDINEEDITFIXED... OTHERWISEIT'SGONNABEHELLALLOVERONCETHATMONSTERBREAKSLOOSEISWEARTHATKIDISTHEDEVILHIMSELF!!! WE'REALLGONNADIEUNLESSITGETSFIXEDNOWMISS!! PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEFIXMYCAR!!"

Miss Cashier Lady stared horrified as she dialed for security. "Huh, what're you doing?" Xemnas asked after calming down. When he saw the big scary policemen with guns, he realized what happened. "Aw, crap."

Meanwhile, Roxas had just awaken... chained to the car seat, and now conscious... "Where am I...? Ah! I'm chained down!!" He immediately saw the coffee and sugar dangling in front of him, used for torture purposes only. "Ooh..." He said, and with his super-scary strength, broke the chains loose. "Mmm... COFFEE!!" He reached for it, and suddenly saw flashback memories of terrorizing Vegas. "Er..." His glance exchanged over to the sugar, and those evil beading demon's red eyes appeared. He grabbed the cup full of pure white cane sugar, and poked it, licking the powdery substance off his finger. His eyes widened. Soon he found himself gulping the entire thing down. His eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, "YEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE GUESS WHO'S BACK, BABY!"

The security men looked over at the car, and Xemnas shouted, "O.O NOOOOOOOO!! AWW CRAPPY!!" The car exploded. "..."

The policemen stared with disbelief, "..."

The cashier lady fainted, "..."

A random dog peed on aisle eight, "..."

A fly got electrocuted by the flourescent lighting and died in front of Xemnas, "..."

Roxas was still alive, and in slow-motion, was walking toward them, "..."

Xemnas resisted the urge to faint, and he went bug-eyed for the 97th time this entire week he'd been babysitting the terror, "CALL 911!! DROP, COVER, AND ROLL, PEOPLE!"

Roxas calmly opened the door, but his awe-struck expression made everyone stare at what he was looking at. The accursed fish crackers... covered in chocolate and sprinkles. "Noooooooooooo!" Xemnas hissed under his breath as the zombified teen snatched a bag, and ripped it open.

"This is dedicated to you, Xemmy-dawg." Roxas said with an evil glare. He gulped down the fish crackers like they were soda. The chocolate's sugar began taking even more affect. The world has ended. "YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - HOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

In panic-state, Xemnas rushed outside to escape with his car. Aw, crap. It's dead. Screw that. He looked over at the police car. Tempting... Maybe, too tempting! He hopped inside, put on the lighters, and raced out of the gas station, "Forget that brat! I'm escaping to the promised land!!" Xemnas shouted, only to irritate the police, so they began firing bullets at him. "Aw crappy..." He said, pressing the gas pedal as hard as he could.

"Wait, Xemmy!!" Roxas said, holding out his hand. "Uh... I sorta threw a flare gun at that thing, and..." There was a muffled explosion after Xemnas disappeared, and the police car's wheels went flying. (A/N: o.o I'm obsessing with explosions today!)

Xemnas didn't die; indeed he came back. Policemen asked if he wanted to be hospitalized, of course, because he actually _survived_ the explosion force of 2.9 atomic bombs. Duh, he's a Nobody, not that they would know that.

"Roxas, why is it that you always get me in trouble?" Xemnas asked, paying for the damage here, too.

Roxas gave a guilty look, but didn't respond quite yet. He watched Xemnas growl at the bill of over $230,000. He slightly smiled, and looked at the exploded bye-bye car. Then at the new one the policemen gave him, understanding the circumstances. "I dunno..." Roxas sighed to answer the superior's question; the silver-haired man looked at him with disappointment and anger. "I guess... I like having a good time."

Xemnas growled, "And breaking the rules, and ruining my babysitting life is what you consider "a good time", huh, Roxy?"

Roxas shook his head, and smiled, "Nah."

Xemnas almost freaked out and started screaming, but refrained himself, and asked in a tone, quite too loud and too angry than expected, "Then. What. IS?"

Roxas thought about it, and sighed slowly through his lips, lowering his eyelids, to think. _"Making people laugh... is what I call having a good time. Right, loyal readers?"_

Indeed it's true. And so now, Xemnas and Roxas leave by the car, on their way to Disney World. We'll see more of them... lots more!

"IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL!!" Roxas screamed very off-tune.

Xemnas, thankfully, owned an iPod, so he turned it to maximum, and enjoyed some peaceful Final Destination 3 horror music.

---

**Author's Note:** ommmmmgggg you have no idea how sorry I am for making this chapter turn out so late. I will update more, I promise! Ah, well... I don't know if this will surprise you, but... Indeed, I am fourteen years old, one year short from Roxas. Meaning, I have lots of school to do, therefore meaning... I didn't think of anything clever for this chapter until NOW! I am so proud of myself, though! 18 reviews! This story was a success ever since it was born. I am pleased to say... this is my _only_ successful story. Keep on reviewing, keep up your good work on patience... more chapters will finally be issued! I repeat. Roxas will show more MADNESS!!

His favorite thing to do is make people laugh, which happens to be my favorite thing. This chapter has finally revealed... what Roxas loves about this story, and why he drives Xemnas nuts. This was a very touching chapter, I know. But don't expect me to keep the lovey-dovey-ness too long... NOW I'LL BRING OUT THE NEXT RULE! Aw crappy... what was the next rule? Ha ha, oh well... You'll see.

Next Chapter Preview:

Uh, what's the next rule? Xemmy was caught off-guard for this one!

---


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